Tension and stress build, but the gratification will be priceless.
I have sat around waiting for someone to feel inspired enough to start this climbing club, but in the end, I just started it myself. I have been working nonstop to meet the ever-approaching Sept. 15 deadline. Now, with one more signature, all will be complete.
Where are you Matt?
I have much hope for this club. I feel it will be a lot of fun, and it will help many people in Carbondale in finding things to do - other than just hitting up the bars. Maybe it could help influence Princeton Review to not list us as the fourth fattest school in the nation. Climbers - at least the good ones - never seem to be fat.
I start projects now. I finish projects. I always have had this fear of starting things that I cannot finish. I must pursue until my goal is accomplished. The bad thing about this whole mindset is my attitude in relationships, of course. I never know when to back off and always doubt myself afterward. (as was the case with Charlotte - a brutal episode which cost me more than my fair share of face.) I think I left the Daily Egyptian in good time though. I am getting stuff done and my grades seem to be at a constant A average.
Phew. I miss sleep.
I am also wondering about whether to leave for U of I this weekend. I have to call two of my friends Tyler and Kate to see what is going on. I really would like to get out of this town for even a weekend - to know it is a possibility. But in reality -
I would like to feel the ocean around my ankles and hear the waves crashing on the shore. I would like to feel the wind ripping around me as I sit on some lonesome peak thousands of feet from the ground. I'd like to meet someone I've never met and I'd like to see something I've never seen. I wish to be more than who I am right now and aspire to be more than I ever thought I could be. I just need a chance.
Three more semesters ... I just hope my heart can remember what is true a bit longer.