Tuesday, November 22, 2005


A line heard again and again: "do not what is easy, but do what is right."

And when I hear it, I am filled with such emotion, such passion. I want to burst out and scream and run in some direction to help someone, to do something worthy and make the choice myself, to turn down what is easy and do something right.

I do not doubt someday I will have this position to face, and it does not daunt me the slightest.

These past few days in the mountains were much needed. I have felt a huge weight lift from my chest as friendly faces embrace me with gestures of a better environment, a better message. I have driven through the mountains and been greeted by a girl transformed by only a couple months here. Always so sad in Illinois, she dreamt of the mountains. Now, she is here and I can see how much she has found herself. It reminds me of my first school year here.

I think it is standing in the grandeur of these jagged peaks that makes our hearts cry out for those inner ideals we believe in so much, as if society could not hold us back anymore. I know I have felt inspiration leave my side time and time again during the past few months, but it has awakened stronger than ever. It has been reborn in my mind.

I feel home when I am here and no one could know how much these mountains mean to me. They were my salvation after my father died, and the only thing that helped me to become a better man in the face of so much in high school. They were my "inner light" as Amy would say. I thought of living here so often it would almost break me daily.

These are some of my thoughts going through my mind right now, but more inner thoughts do prevail, and I am growing more towards who I really am every day. I know I am going towards what is right in life, and it does feel great. Those people who tell me I am crazy for doing what I do will never understand what it is like to see the bright sun outside of the box they live in. (metaphor)

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Ambitiously enduring.