Friday, June 16, 2006


Driving into the canyon, the stratified rock towers above my head as the sound of turbulent water ricochets from below.

So many reasons to stay, so many reasons to at least give it all a chance.

I decided to go back to an old familiar place to see whether or not it could be a possibility. I need to accomplish things in my life, but those accomplishments out here would be ... beyond words.

I spoke to a few people. One woman said she had a horrible experience at the school, but others seemed more positive. I spoke to an advisor, and she seemed very positive about my applying to the school. I took it is an overall good sign. I may even know a professor who knows some faculty here.

I really want to accomplish something in life. I really want to feel driven. I think Illinois has played a huge role in my personal growth. I now think that more than ever. I have been shown how to focus my emotions, focus my talents and not succumb to temptations which may divert my path.

But here, I have my emotions back. I feel a sense of liveliness and adventure. My heart is in the right place and is comforted by some of the people. I feel at home.

I will stay, someday. I now know what must be done in the meantime, and Colorado has fortified my intensity. I will accomplish great things even if it takes a better part of my life.

I will fuel the fire inside.

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Ambitiously enduring.