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Thursday, August 03, 2006

late night thoughts.

Violent. Throbbing. Painful. Emotions grip HOLD.

Once I was young, and once upon a time the world held chances at every corner. It wasn't so evil. It wasn't so damn unfair. It wasn't filled with the starving masses, the fat Americans, global warming, social strife, insane wars and loves that dissipate in a heartbeat.

Naive. Ignorant. Was I.

Now my life holds a purpose, but still I love to reflect when the most important thing was finding her. I love to reflect on how many girls I'd meet, and how many times I wished to meet that one girl. I would sit in my high school classes dreaming of rock climbing and her. I would read and study, but all my hopes were in those two. How naive I was.

Naive. Independent. Crashing. Breathing Waves.

My life is not spoken for. It is not written. No person shall write my future before I set the cards, my cards, in motion. I do fear nearly all true romantic qualities have faded from my existence, but I have found at every instance a true, pure purpose. If I do not find her, I will accept it. If I have already lost her, I will accept it. If my life opens back up, if it transcends the humdrum, if the renaissance comes with the passing of my goals, my soul will be recaptured.

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Ambitiously enduring.