Saturday, July 07, 2007


I am feeling more and more situated in Portland. I have now seen more of the outside, been climbing in a newly developed area and started working a job that seems to suit me. However, there are still some difficulties. My whole attitude shifted last night as I overdrew my account. Feeling like a failure, I re-examined a million little things about my life right now.

I am not doing enough. I will wait out the training for this job (for that is the promise I made when hired,) but I could be doing more. I could be investing my time into some bigger cause or a more fulfilling job. Part time at a rock gym is not going to cut it for my ambitions.

Someday I think my ambitions will swallow me whole.

Until that day, all I can do is acquiesce to the inner desire to be something more.

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Ambitiously enduring.