Saturday, June 13, 2009

the silence

In such an individualistic society and with little money, I have grown to be very passive.

Why should I complain? I catch myself saying, I am lucky to be alive. But by lowering myself with these passive gestures, I let myself fall prey to the insecurities and selfish needs of others. Time and time again, I find myself victim of these same circumstances. Each time I vow it will never happen again. But here I am a victim to insults, a casualty to others fingers rifling through my belongings and an unwelcome guest in my own residence.

I cannot complain about too much right now. I somewhat fear this may spiral into a homeless situation. If so, I fear I will not be able to fulfill my VISTA contract. I am also curious about the logistics of my staying here in Chicago. I wish the government could know what it is like to be uber poor and no place to go after a year of service.

This will be a fine day. I am sure it will. The weather is perfect. I am seeing a beautiful woman tonight. All the world is an adventure and I really do not need much to have a good time.

Yet would it not be grand to end this viscous cyle once and for all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

~unknowing is not bad... it just keeps you on your toes for the unexpected~


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Ambitiously enduring.