Thursday, August 27, 2009


What burden! What drain! are the stresses of poverty. Three days until my birthday, and I watch as people once close drift further and further away. I am alienating myself and becoming a person none would like to befriend.

So here I am, in my office, three days before my birthday. My mind is flooded with problems. And yet I know everything else is slowly falling away. Is this the path of law? Is this how the rest of my life will go if I pursue this field? I am perplexed and unsatisfied.

Somehow I will watch it all crumble as a spectator. I will watch and think, what a beautiful life this is that has come to ruin.

I remember when I would take off my shoes and walk through a field only thinking of how I might create some prose to describe the moment and scene. I remember long horseback rides, and all the simplicities and dreams of life that burned within. I remember not being so caught up and so fixated and so bumbling. I remember the confidence of climbing, the confidence of the classroom. I remember the days when I felt I wouldn't have to beg forever.

This is my penalty for a life too examined, a life with not enough action.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

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Abandon city nights.

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Life can be as beautiful as one makes it!
This is why I try to surround myself with an aesthetic beauty that will help characterize my soul. These mountains were the energy of my youth. But for now, I must find my strength in the words of Camus who in the midst of winter, found within his soul an eternal summer.
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Friday, August 14, 2009

A rant on socio-economic America!

It is with menacing messages that most letters reach my inbox nowadays. Whether it comes from ex-lovers, educational loans, missing car payments and/or the occasional lost promise turned obligation, it is the same.

Yet, I must sort through all of this. This is not for me. It is something within which I am contained. It is a product of a system that pushes some people down. It forces the population to work and work and never really understand why ... Why? For more stuff and less time with family. As we watch our families grow distant, as we work harder for respected positions in our society we let those loved ones who take up too much time go? Why?

The working class knows something is wrong. I believe they can feel it. I hear about it a lot when I am here around my family, but they feel powerless. There are anchored systems founded by the social elite. When a woman - who has reached a high level of understanding of a problem- reaches the podium, a little message streaks across the screen telling exactly how much people should listen. If it says a certain institution or a certain title, people listen. If it says something else, well we turn off. She is not for making decisions we say ...

I would like to see a policy maker with no Ivy League background, but a solid background in a field and a solid understanding of the people. Maybe there are people out there, but it seems like so many problems are ignored at the cost of fame or glory of holding office. This is just turning so ridiculous. So many people have great ideas out there, and we give our representation to people who have difficulty understanding even the simplest of these changes. It is time for new leadership and a change. It is not time for a President (no matter how great his speech may be) to sit idly by making promises and compromises. It is time for a leader to walk down the hard road America needs.

Nothing better.

Bryant, me, Thaddeus, Danielle, and Ted (also not shown here is Eric who is underneath Thaddeus and me.) haha.
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Ambitiously enduring.