I kissed my mother and said a good bye. I left early in the morning, drove past St. Louis and said goodbye to Tyler. I got into Emily's mid afternoon. We hung out, shared our lives and met up with Tarik.
I said goodbye to Emily and her mom. Back on the ole road. I laughed as I sang along to music I knew oh so well. Drove into Denver 4ish, went to Boulder to meet up with Thaddeus and Sam. They shared the story of their winter ascent. I drank half a PBR, but gave the rest to Thaddeus. They left to drive through the night. I went to my sister's. We shared life. I joked with Courtney and her friend. Before retiring the evening, we watched UP!. The thing I love of my sister is her ability to laugh and have fun. I have yet to see anyone laugh so much while watching UP!
I took a deep breath, said goodbye to the mountains I hold so dear and started my car. I got out one more time to say a proper bye. I hated the fact I was again leaving. I always hate leaving the only place I feel at home, like I could stay a thousand years. Then the mountains were flying by, ice on the roads and dicey driving over the pass. Dinner time. Utah. I was shown the room where I would be staying. Jordan and I shared life. I met Andrew.
A few days later I would meet Becca, my third roommate.
It is now week three. I found a job day three, started day seven. My regular schedule now consists of: wake up, work out, eat, go to work, come home, send a few e-mails and sleep; repeat. Climb and hike on the weekends.
Everything is gone. No one thought I had a path, but I always did until this point. I thought I would eventually get to some of my goals. I freaked out anytime my path looked as if it was disappearing, and finally ... it did. It's a free feeling not to have a path now. How can one be stuck when he isn't trying to get anywhere? My heart is quiet. It is too quiet. The passion that rides my life is gone.
In three weeks, I will have an application packet complete for a job. I've already interviewed, and the interviewer said I was in. Then I'll buy my plane ticket, take a long plane ride and live somewhere new. It will get me to India during breaks. And then life will be what it is.
I cannot change who I am. I know the passion will flood back. Yet this time, I will not make the same mistakes.