We must remember those habits that bring us closer to our own true selves. Utah has forced me to give up many things that are escapist in nature at a time when I may have depended on them. I have also begun to see the value in things I may have not before. My mind grows clear day by day. I see all the possibilities that may exist in my life, and it suddenly starts to look pretty good.
But on a night like this I wonder ... Will I ever love enough to run into the Pacific in December? Will I ever trust another to hold my heart? Will I ever sit drunkenly on a warm summer night and stare into the silhouette of trees, gaping at its artistic magnificence? I want my youthful heart, not fearful, not jaded, not burned ... nothing holding it back and nothing forcing it to be something it is not.
Maybe this is the reason I will not back down this time. I will prove to all that this is no existence if we must force our true natures to conform to the whim of others. I will live my passionate lifestyle. I will regain myself. I will conquer this period of my life through perseverance and dedication. I will also believe in love again some day.
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