Saturday, May 22, 2010


We must remember those habits that bring us closer to our own true selves. Utah has forced me to give up many things that are escapist in nature at a time when I may have depended on them. I have also begun to see the value in things I may have not before. My mind grows clear day by day. I see all the possibilities that may exist in my life, and it suddenly starts to look pretty good.

But on a night like this I wonder ... Will I ever love enough to run into the Pacific in December? Will I ever trust another to hold my heart? Will I ever sit drunkenly on a warm summer night and stare into the silhouette of trees, gaping at its artistic magnificence? I want my youthful heart, not fearful, not jaded, not burned ... nothing holding it back and nothing forcing it to be something it is not.

Maybe this is the reason I will not back down this time. I will prove to all that this is no existence if we must force our true natures to conform to the whim of others. I will live my passionate lifestyle. I will regain myself. I will conquer this period of my life through perseverance and dedication. I will also believe in love again some day.

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Ambitiously enduring.