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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My compass

How will I remember these days? Will I, should I, remind myself how dark my outlook had become? Should I tell of the times, sitting alone in my apartment, that I looked dismally into the future - seeing future travails and wondering if I had the strength, the composure to deal with a new onslaught?

Simply, I know I must. I must remind myself of the depths I have allowed myself to fall.  I must even now see the dark walls of that abyss. I must know that I could climb from it a thousand times. I must also remind myself of the pain, the agony of watching everything slip away.

Zion was my savior. Yet, it was a savior without a compass. It merely gave me the strength to look around and pick a direction. I still remained in the abyss. I simply saw a glimmer of hope in it all. And for me, a glimmer shall always be enough to inspire my heart to give its all again.

Today, I awoke as a man seeing hope again. I saw hope in my future, in my direction. I could actually see a direction for myself. I could see a path. For I have finally found my compass. It was a breath of more than hope. Hope is what makes us gather that last bit of strength for the journey ahead. No, it was not just hope this time. I found my compass, and it gave me strength. Strength that allows me to run stronger and faster, to take on more and be more confident in my movements. Hopefully, it has opened the door to my heart (and not just in a place as beautiful as Zion). Hopefully, it will give me the strength to keep my heart open always and be who I am even when this world tries to bare its jagged teeth and iron jaws. 

I point my compass now towards my master's, my juris doctorate, a family, an existence of helping others and building even one thing that could help at least one other fellow person. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are an AMAZING writer. I hope that you are inspired enough to post again soon.

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Ambitiously enduring.