Tuesday, March 08, 2011
I step back from this mess. I take a breath. It is this breath that sustains me. I keep asking myself as I lay here not able to sleep, "How did I get into this mess? And since when did I ever need their validation?"
Damn it, man. I am trying. Yet, I have lost so much ... so much ... thus far in the process. So much of me ... so much of my soul. It seems sometimes that I am just trying to get pieces of it back. I gotta believe something is there in the future. I have to believe that some day the solidness of great friendships, good spirit and aesthetic scenery may ...
I have tasted what life can be. I have lived with purpose and direction. I have felt wild, loose and free. I have roared back in the faces of those who would keep me down. I have laughed uncontrollably and spilt tears of joy. I have loved enough to stand on the edge of the precipice, uncontrollably languishing for the other.
Don't write me off yet.