Saturday, April 16, 2011

A run in the cold rain

To feel the first moments of a run while the rain came down and the cold shook my limbs was not a definite mystery. My cool muscles twitched nervously without rhythm. My lungs felt the shock of the cool air and my bald head felt the pain as the wind and cold greeted it in sudden gusts.

A few moments occurred where I sat in my car and wondered if the five miles in these conditions were really worth it. I knew it would only be the first half mile that would be painful. After this point, my joints and muscles would be properly warm, and I would fall into a rhythm. I also knew that last night while I sat in bed trying to fall asleep, I longed to run and run. I longed to reach out and touch the inner rhythms of my mind. I have to start realizing the value of things.

So many times, the moment, the place, the person is lost on us.

How dare I then not run! How dare I shrink away from life again? What am I here for but to live and breathe, to feel the pulse of life and vivacity of how extremely good and bad it can be?

Acceptance and patience are not virtues of mine. I accept too much then too little. I never wait long enough or when the time counts I wait too long. There are things I need from this life. I should move more swiftly in the present and the future. The past is past.

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Ambitiously enduring.