Thursday, July 12, 2012

Bike Ride Ignitor

Hunched forward, back straight, legs tensed as they pushed and pulled, lungs fiercely drawing in air and heaving it out, I swept through flowering grasses with their sweet aroma in the small valley of hills. Peace and comfort flowed over me.

The body is weak, I thought. It has sat too idle for too long. My mind, though somewhat sharp, fades with the idling of my body. I like to feel my heart pulsate, my lungs expand in desperation and my muscles tense, exerting themselves till the end, till my jello-laden legs squirm and twist me home. For we have one life, I wish to live mine as a man, with passion and drive. Not any of this sitting around and waiting for life to come to me.

Last night, the FedEx man came. He left me with my two-wheeled, lady. I got in a 18-mile ride, and then called it a night.

My summer reading list has arrived, but I will not have the funds until a check is deposited in my account. I have never had much help getting by with things. I think as a boy I had so much hope that the world would conspire to help me so long as I strove to help others. Yet, it was only through suffering that I resolved to be a good, decent man in this world. Lately, I have much to be thankful for.

I do not know how to say so much in this blog that has not yet formed in my mind. I am thankful as of late, and scared at the same time. I find happiness in moments, and I try not to think that as I build, so I have much to lose. I comfort myself with the sense that I know what it feels like to lose it all, and I can and will still go on fighting if that happens. For if it is fear of loss that holds us hostage to keep striving, that is a prison sentence in itself.

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Ambitiously enduring.