Sunday, October 28, 2007

c'est la vie

on a long trek, the narrator jabs his middle fingernail into his thumb when he'd think negative thoughts. he would do this sometimes until his finger bled. it would remind him of his negative thoughts and keep him in a better disposition.

i think i should adopt this philosophy. the negative aspects of my life circle my soul like buzzards waiting for last flicker of movement, the last sense of life's rebellion. i can feel myself slipping into the negative - day by day.

i won't try to sound positive. this whole situation is ruining so much.

Sunday, October 14, 2007


What could I write?

I could write an inspiring message of hope ...

some message of how blessed I am to be living in such a great world ...

about a day of beauty and hope ...

But I won't because it's not the way I feel ...

I can't say how I feel.

Because I just don't know anymore. If you asked me if I was happy, I wouldn't know what to say.

I need a job, need a path, need some form of worth.


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Ambitiously enduring.