Wednesday, August 30, 2006

My birthday

Only a few days ago I was cold. Only a few days ago, I was 22 years old.

A couple days ago, I was sitting on the edge of working for a woman with whom I had a vested interest. A couple days ago, the weather was putrid.

Suddenly everything changes.

My heart is on fire. My soul, at peace.

My hopes have become wildfires of passion. My heart beats with charismatic triumph as I sit upon the edge of freedom. I run through clouds for miles instead of treading on the ground. My head does not throb at the thought of complex thoughts, but instead welcomes them.

The fire buried deep inside has spread throughout my core. It is no longer within my depths, but travels through every capillary. I breathe and can feel my pulse. I close my eyes and see my heart's throb.

This intensity comes with 23 years. It comes from waiting for a life ready to unfold. A life that already has.

It comes with a realization:
The most beautiful time of anyone's life
the present.

It's the only time we have.

Saturday, August 26, 2006


It's 5:43.

A stillness fills the room. A slight, familiar whistling comes from somewhere in my apartment.

I want to go to sleep. I will be climbing soon. I must go to sleep. Yet this insomnia follows me.

Mumblings awoke me. Stillness follows me.

And all I can really perceive is this weird sense of Deja Vu.

Sunday, August 20, 2006


On the night before school, I have become cold.

I can't feel anything.

I am focused, not fearful, not loving, not caring, not sad, not angry ...

Just focused.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

no answer coming soon

It's late.

I'm tired.

All is well.

A dumb little question sits on my brain since this morning.

I don't think I'll answer it anytime soon.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Communist Climbers?

Apprently Raul Castro is a climber.

Maybe communism isn't so bad ... I mean we have corruption and people starving on the streets... But our (American) people are free to do as they wish.

We need new leadership. Such thoughts are dangerous because I don't believe in communism, but a fascist democracy such as the one that is being created by Bush and his total disregard for American law is just insane.

Is Bush a climber?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

late night thoughts.

Violent. Throbbing. Painful. Emotions grip HOLD.

Once I was young, and once upon a time the world held chances at every corner. It wasn't so evil. It wasn't so damn unfair. It wasn't filled with the starving masses, the fat Americans, global warming, social strife, insane wars and loves that dissipate in a heartbeat.

Naive. Ignorant. Was I.

Now my life holds a purpose, but still I love to reflect when the most important thing was finding her. I love to reflect on how many girls I'd meet, and how many times I wished to meet that one girl. I would sit in my high school classes dreaming of rock climbing and her. I would read and study, but all my hopes were in those two. How naive I was.

Naive. Independent. Crashing. Breathing Waves.

My life is not spoken for. It is not written. No person shall write my future before I set the cards, my cards, in motion. I do fear nearly all true romantic qualities have faded from my existence, but I have found at every instance a true, pure purpose. If I do not find her, I will accept it. If I have already lost her, I will accept it. If my life opens back up, if it transcends the humdrum, if the renaissance comes with the passing of my goals, my soul will be recaptured.


About Me

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Ambitiously enduring.