Last day of 2005

Hung out with my bro yesterday. We were supposed to go climbing but he was two hours late, threw off the whole rhythm of the day. But all is forgiven.

We started out by heading to downtown St. Louis. We went to Union Station, Hooters. It was my cousin Brandon, Justice and his best friend Lon ( no idea if that is how you spell his name.) It was an awesome day, but I think I felt a little sick afterwards, not enough sleep and too much alcohol/caffeine.

As I walked with my cousin lastnight, a little epiphany erupted in my little world. The air was crisp and wet. It was slightly cloudy and the lights reflected off the ground to create a dreamlike atmosphere. I could have just walked around alone and been perfectly happy. We were right under the arch, headed towards downtown. I like being in a place where something is always happening, and I think that is what draws me so much to the city. I know St. Louis isn't the biggest place, but it is nice. I like seeing all the diversity in the people. I like having different restaurants, different bars, museums and art exhibits at my fingertips.

I later headed back to Sossity's house. I played around with her children and finally was too tired and too sick to go on, so I drove my cousin back home and went back to Taylorville.

I really do see myself just packing up one day and moving away to some distant place. It doesn't scare me. It just thrills me. I think if God has a plan for me, I will be fine. It will all be good. I know how much life is worth and how short it is by all the people that I have lost so far. I want my life to be something amazing. I don't need fame or fortune though. I just want experiences. I want to live a truly romantic lifestyle. I want big adventures, big wins, huge losses and all the risks that come along with those odds.

I know I want to help people, and I know I am not doing enough as it is. So right now, I'll work on building myself up. I will work on being a better person so I might actually be strong enough to do all that I plan on doing. I really do need to be stronger before I begin on this huge journey I have planned.