Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Sobering mornings ...

What a long night! Red wine ... Not during a week night. Not anymore.

I dreamt lastnight of the mountains. People kept offering me plane tickets. I kept on refusing them. I just kept saying that if I went now it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be as good as if I went later.

It was so frustrating. I awoke to the sound of construction and a fear to face all the things I probably said lastnight.

I hate how emotional I am sometimes. I hate the way I look for the past to keep reoccuring as if I could actually have such horrible luck. And I really hate hating something, especially something I am doing.

The Pope released his encyclical on modern love and charity. I was reading a little bit of it and began to understand what Father Joseph Brown was speaking about the other night. If we always focus on the negative, we lose sight of all the good.

I constantly allow myself to fall into these patterns.

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Ambitiously enduring.