Monday, February 20, 2006


In a computer room ...

A little hiss of air escapes from the ceiling. The continous roar from the vent tries to overshadow it.

I feel calm. My life seems smooth. My senses are heightened.

When a see an Oreo, I nearly crumble. When I think of food, I salivate. More than not, this is psychological.

My body feels colder than normal. I dream of tomorrow and the next phase: brown rice and kale. I remind myself this is for self discipline, for health, for cleansing. I had moments yesterday which were unbearable. Other times, I didn't even notice.

I hope today is not so bad. I want to focus on myself and not food at this time.

It is about strength, determination and self control. It seems as if when I can focus, everything is sharper, every smell a little more real.

- My life is becoming more real, more how I want it to be. If we have one life on Earth, we should make it the best we can, the most beautiful, the most extreme, extravagant and bewildering. I have focused on passion, laughter and enlightenment.

All I can do is smile and know my life is mine.

-Millencolin (Battery Check)

Hitting P.B. drivin E20 north
Future plans being made
Going back and forth
Remain passive
I do got dreams on my mind
And I really should be taking a chance
Risk my safety just for once advance
The one who is trying
Is the one who succeeds
I should be following
My heart and my needs
But I know it's a problem for me
To translate words into deeds

Please say you feel the same way
Just say you know exactly how I feel
So say you feel the same way
And I will do it for real

When will I live my live for me?
When will I do what I want to?
When will I let myself be free
And take care of things that I value?
It's true. I need to forgive myself and see
It's not too late for something new

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Ambitiously enduring.