Friday, March 24, 2006

Letting go of the reins.

Let it go.

SIU police sometimes lie or exaggerate, whichever you prefer. And sometimes that lands you and your buddies in a world of trouble. They say you were on the roof. You were never even on the stairs. You never saw anyone on the roof or even breach the roof, and you were watching. They say, they told you it would be given to Judicial Affairs. Then why did you not hear it? Why did everything come as such a shock?

Let it go.

I sit here missing the West, missing my phone and missing any sense of real freedom I may have once felt. I always feel shackled in Illinois. I am being punished for my shortcomings. For good behavior, I get good friends and good grades. It lessens the load. I also have climbing. However, soon the shackles might grip even harder as Judicial Affairs starts handing out the punishments. Somewhere deep down, I hope for a fine or maybe nothing if justice would prevail. While at other times, I hope the lies on the police report do not end in expulsion. Where would I go? How could I pay off all those bills without a good job? How would I get into the Peace Corps, law school, the rest of my life.

Let it go.

Because that is what I need to do. "Let it go." I need to have faith that this is my path, and I could never be happier with any other. Wherever life takes me, I shall embrace it. The dead ends will make me stronger. The pain will make me tougher. My failures shall only be covered when I mask them with success.

And to think before all of this, I was just worried about getting a decent girlfriend. haha.

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Ambitiously enduring.