Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Looks like tonight will be an all-nighter. My midterm is due tomorrow and I want to throw this into a kind of decent story. Tonight caffeine is my friend. I enjoy its company.

I was interviewing the spokeswoman for the university today and a funny thing happened. I got a job! I have no idea how. I am going to do public relations articles for the university. My resume coming out college isn't going to be too bad at all. I was just casually talking to her after our brief interview and she offered me a job. Pretty crazy. I then called Laura, and she totally has had some really good luck as well. It is funny how so much is being pushed outside the box right now. It is incredible how alive I feel.

I held out from those who wanted me to succumb to mediocrity. And you know what? It is totally paying off. I now have a job that helps me in what I am doing. I am getting my financial stuff taken care of the best I can. Next week, I determine whether all will be settled or not.

I sat down and prayed in St. Francis Xavier at Saint Louis University Sunday. On my knees before God, I said a million thank you's for everything in my life. I said thanks for all the sorrows, hardships, pain, good times and amazing experiences. I thanked God for making me who I am today. I am so thankful sometimes that I am tested. It makes it so much more worth it when everything starts to turn around. I have been tested so many times, and I still go towards the good things in life. I never really turn my back on them no matter how much I am discouraged to do something else.

Not everything is perfect, but something has changed. A question I posed a long time ago has been answered, and now my life is my own. I will succeed. I no longer wonder. I would place all bets on me. If it were a million to one, I still believe I'd have the upper hand. I am not trying to sound cocky. I am just starting to really believe in myself.

- I have seen the blue sky among the white tipped mountains. I have put my feet in crystal clear streams while the hot sun soothes my heart. I have worked hard, thirsting for more, until collapse. I have seen what this world has to offer, and all it can take away. I have seen truth and beauty, and it is great.

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Ambitiously enduring.