Wednesday, September 21, 2005


I have had many excuses to be so negative lately, but no reason.

Like a boulder rumbling down the side of a mountain, my life often gets a little out of control. But I really do ask for it. I tend to put anything and everything that is important to me on my plate. If no one else seems to want to do it, good! I will just do it myself.

So then I get upset when other simpler things go wrong in my life and I have no time to solve them. My time is a commodity, but I must not lose faith in what I am trying to accomplish. I am without a car, computer or cell phone right now, but that does not stop who I am. I am also at a school that only challenges me when I push myself well beyond my classes, but that will only add to who I am.

If we always treat burdens as hindrances in our lives instead of the building blocks of human strength, we will forever be in the depths of our despair. Greatness, I believe, comes from the inner ability of human nature to rise above the negative emotions of our existance. Show me a great man that cries constantly, and I will tell you he is no great man. Show me a man that smiles and laughs even in the midst of so much trouble in this world, a man that brings light into a world of darkness, and I will tell you that he is a great man.

I must remember these words. With all the specific troubles I have overcome in my life, it has only led me to appreciate the world around me so much more. I have, in essence, become better for the wrongs and the unfortunate circumstances forced on me. I would not trade these for all the world, and even when I wish that one day things might get better, I cannot help but smile knowing that with every breath a new day is just around the corner.

I am stressed and tired, but very hopeful about the strength within my heart. As a friend of mine said to me "light beats the darkness everytime."

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Ambitiously enduring.