Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Grab my hand.

I reached out to help, but lost myself in the way. I have found so many beautiful people. No one I've met is really that bad, just easily forgetful about a suffering world.

I can't forget though. I studied tonight about South Africa. I did a little work on a project and found a few friends in powerful places. Now just have to get my research done. Time to organize and dig into the facts.

Three rings I wear around my arm with a piece of cordelette. They always stand for the three most important ideals I hold at the time. Not fixed ideals. It just makes sense to at least have three at all times. Faith. Compassion. Courage. are today's ideals. "Livestrong" helps me to remember how short life is. I owe it to some to enjoy life and help others.

Ryan called from Santa Cruz. Said he had been sleeping on the beach and going from place to place with Matt as vagrants. It is hilarious. What an adventure! I can just picture them. I am lucky to have such great friends. They are both coming back, which makes me very happy.

I accepted Angie's apology. She cares. I am still scared though. of what? no clue. But at this point, if I can't laugh about it, it scares me. I am walking very slowly and very steadily this time. I don't want to run like every other time. (metaphor) I always seem to trip up when I run.

New friends are golden I have found. I want someone to go with me to Colorado in August. Just not anyone, either. I want someone who can laugh. I want someone who isn't serious about it. Need someone who knows what a road trip is all about. It's the adventure and the memories. I will find someone. Nothing will stop me this time. I promised.

Amy is married. It is weird to think about. I thought she would call me to celebrate, but she never even told me. It doesn't seem as if we are really friends anymore. She knows I promised her we always would though. It is up to her. I've only made the promise two other times. I intended to keep all three.

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Ambitiously enduring.